Sunday, August 9
- 4:43 a.m. – A vehicle was reported parked at an intersection in the Swan with a bike leaned up against it … wait for it, wait for it … the street names? “Old Squeezer Loop and Goat Creek.” Wow, you gotta love the crazy Swan.
- 1 p.m. – A contracted employee was reported to have used the restroom in an RV at the “Family Fun Center” and later when confronted about the malfesions pushed over another employee’s motorcycle in anger. A classic 3rd grade move, someone ticks you off – just push over their bike and floor it outta there.
- 1:47 p.m. – A man called 911 and reported that two kids were inside an abandoned building near Bishop Insurance and were “tearing the insides of the building down.” The caller added that this building regularly has its fair share of “kids going inside and smoking and carrying on.”
1:52 p.m. – An anonymous reported to 911 that she just witnessed a mother “smoking marijuana in front of young kids and then offering it to them.”
Monday, August 10
- 2:22 a.m. – A woman reported to 911 that two women have been sitting at a picnic table near the Longhouse in Mission for about an hour, “doing nothing.” Laziness is not a crime, ma’am.
3:07 a.m. – A female passenger in a vehicle called 911 and said that the driver, another woman, had been drinking and was currently driving them down from Flathead County to the Polson area to confront an individual who was “threatening to kill them.” Brilliant, on all levels really. I think we skipped a few steps on the conflict-resolution pyramid for this one because no way that one’s ending up win-win.
- 8:11 a.m. – A woman reported to 911 dispatchers hearing “laughing, cussing, and dogs barking” coming from the area of the skate park. After much deliberation from a unique task squad, 8 a.m. was deemed to be way too early for skaters to be at the park and officers responded promptly to witness this event.
- 12:27 p.m. – A Ronan man reported receiving a call from a “Sheriff Woody of the Ronan Police Department”, adding he thought the call was a hoax. Yes sir, there are no sheriffs of police departments – that would be the sheriff’s department. Plus, the only “Sheriff Woody” I know of is the star of “Toy Story.” Could it have been Tom Hanks?
- 2:06 p.m. – A woman called 911 to report that her husband’s name and business phone number had been written on the walls in two women’s bathrooms at different locations in the valley. Her husband subsequently received a call from a couple girls. When the wife reportedly return called the number, the girls apologized for calling her husband – adding that “they thought he was younger.” How did sleepin’ on the couch feel last week buddy?
Tuesday, August 11
- 12:44 a.m. - A bartender at the Silver Dollar in Charlo reported to 911 that a man just punched a nearby picnic table and a bar window after having a fight with his brother-in-law. Luckily, Patrick Swayze showed up and tossed his butt out faster than you can say “Road House.”
- 5:36 p.m. – A drunk man called 911 wanting to talk to the Polson Police Department about having “his a** kicked” at the VFW Bar in Polson. The man was reportedly too intoxicated to finish filling out the report. Prime assault suspects in this case – Jack Daniels and the City of Polson’s sidewalk.
Wednesday, August 12
- 3:41 p.m. – A woman reported to 911 that she had been receiving harassing phone calls from her sister in Billings “who has mental problems.” And I’m sure calling the boys in blue on her will be a therapeutic experience. Well done.
- 5:31 p.m. – A gate was reported stolen in the Swan on “Soup Creek.” The Swan area has so many great street names to go around I decided to give you a bonus one; just try and top this one. “Morning Wood.” Classic Swan.
- 8:19 p.m. – A man reported to 911 that 14-15 year-old boy is selling magazines subscriptions door-to-door to meet the new neighbors. Solicitation is never a great ice breaker. “Hey, I just met you … can I put you down for 40 issues of ‘Guns and Ammo’ perhaps?”
Thursday, August 13
- 1:37 a.m. – A man called 911 and reported that the kids next door have been “partying all the time” adding that “it’s time for the little bastard to go to bed.”
- 2:43 p.m. – A man reported to 911 that someone came into his house “while he was sleeping and stole his belt.” Seven minutes later the man called 911 back to report that he had found his belt. It took roughly seven minutes before he came across a bathroom mirror and … ah haw!
Friday, August 14
- 2:19 p.m. – A woman reported a man “laying in the grass” at the 500 block of 3rd Street, adding that she thought he “might be dead.” The caller dialed back and reported the subject to be in fact alive as her daughter had seen him sneeze.
- 2:21 p.m. – A man reported that a 7-8 year-old kid just threw a pressurized air can at his moving vehicle and hit him on 6th Street. Nice shootin’ Tex!
- 5:15 p.m. – A woman called her neighbor into 911 for shooting his rifle towards her house. The neighbor said he was shooting off “fireworks” because he has a “deer problem.” He says stink bombs, but the pile of deer carcuses in his back yard call him a stinkin’ liar.
- 11:05 p.m. – A woman was reported to 911 apparently trying to “run over a man with her vehicle” outside the Silver Dollar Bar as the man fled on foot shouting “leave me alone.”
Saturday, August 15
- 1:35 a.m. – A woman reported to 911 that her neighbor was shooting off fireworks within the city limits which is prohibited. On a side note the no-doubt tourist or seasonal resident from California was notified that in Montucky it’s the 4th of July EVERYDAY! Yeehaw!
Sox on mend, rebound after break
13 years ago
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