911 calls from 4/20-4/26

Monday, April 20
• 8:23 a.m. — A woman called 911 and reported that her neighbor “throws rocks at her dogs” when they’re in their own yard, and also “throws rocks at her house” and then “laughs.”
• 12:44 p.m. — A woman reported a noise disturbance next door and later called back to notify dispatchers that it was “just someone playing tetherball.”
• 6:43 p.m. — A man reported that a “handicapped man” had been “kidnapped” from a residence north of St. Ignatius. The report turned out to be unfounded.
• 7:04 p.m. — A man reported that a “PlayStation2 and some pistols” had been stolen from his Polson residence.

Tuesday, April 21
• 6:11 p.m. — An officer requested an ambulance for a St. Ignatius man laying “nude in his yard”, who had possibly been there for “20 minutes or more.” The man advised that he did not need an ambulance and was “just enjoying the sun.”
• 6:28 p.m. — A woman called 911 and reported that her boyfriend was going “mentally ballistic.” Dispatch requested to speak with the boyfriend who got on the phone and stated that he is not going “mentally ballistic.” The boyfriend did request to speak to an officer as he “does have a lot on his mind.”

Wednesday, April 22
• 7:18 a.m. — The same woman who accused her boyfriend of being “mentally ballistic” called in again and stated that she had just spoken to her dad and advised dispatchers that he is “against drugs” and “really pissed off” at a Helena man whose name we could not release. The woman stated that the man is “dirty and a creep” adding that he “smokes crank” and that she “has seen him do this.”
• 11:23 a.m. — The woman called 911 again regarding the aforementioned issue and requested that dispatchers call “a higher court” than Polson City as she “thinks someone is trying to set her up.”
• 11:41 a.m. — You know who called back requesting to speak with an officer, advising that she has done “nothing wrong” and “is being set up.” Dispatchers told the woman not to call back unless it’s an emergency next time.
• 2:26 p.m. — A patient at St. Luke’s Hospital called 911 and stated that she’s being held in a house against her will and that some people in the house have “her money and her meds” and are threatening to “blow her up.” Dispatchers called the hospital back and confirmed that the woman was a patient and the ward clerk said she would tell the nurse to move the phone away from the patient’s bed.
• 2:46 p.m. — Three shoplifters were reported caught stealing “eye glasses” from a Polson grocery store.
• 5:55 p.m. — A man reported to 911 that his wife had received a strange text message asking if “someone wanted some drugs?”

Thursday, April 23
• 7:33 a.m. — A woman, who needs no introduction, called 911 to advise dispatchers that her boyfriend is headed to the library to drop off books that are supposed to be about “Greek mythology”, but are actually about “how to get away with murder.”
• 8:10 a.m. — The growing famous boyfriend called 911 to report that his girlfriend was “being mean and nasty” wanted to be dropped off at the courthouse. He said she started being mean last night after “reading some Greek mythology book.” The man advised dispatchers that he just wanted them to know that she was at the courthouse now.
• 9:23 a.m. — The girlfriend is on the phone now calling 911 to let dispatchers know that her boyfriend is giving her a ride to the hospital to “get her meds.” To be continued ... ? Read on.
• 2:53 p.m. — A man reported to 911 that he received a letter in the mail saying that a man with his last name but the wrong first name is being sued for $7,000. The man said he did not know who it was, got angry, and “threw the letter in the stove and burned it.”
• 4:05 p.m. — She’s baaaaack. An HBD (had been drinking) woman called 911 stating “breaker 1-9, breaker 1-9” and that she was “headed to Town Pump for cigarettes.” Dispatchers advised her that she shouldn’t be driving to which she said she wasn’t, her boyfriend is. When asked if her boyfriend had been drinking the woman replied “yes.” Dispatchers advised them that they should not be driving to which the woman replied “okay.” Officers were sent to check out Town Pump.

Friday, April 24
• 9:45 a.m. — A man reported that he just found a “drunk woman passed out in his front yard.” Even for Friday standards, a bit early isn’t it? This is where the “it’s five o’clock somewhere” line MUST be drawn.

Saturday, April 25
• 12:41 a.m. — A very HBD (had been drinking) woman called 911 and reported that “the bars on Main Street are being very loud,” and then hung up.
• 3:39 p.m. — A woman, yes that one, called 911 and reported that she is “okay” but “can’t stand [her boyfriend] anymore” so she went to the store and bought a “pint of vodka” before returning home. Dispatchers reminded her that it wasn’t a good idea to drink with all the medicines she’s on, to which she responded that it didn’t matter a “whole hell of a lot” as she has “no liver, no heart, and no appendix.”

Sunday, April 26
• 6:13 a.m. — An anonymous person reported a party with drinking going on at a nearby residence where a man was outside “yelling and shooting around.”

Archives — Calls from 4/13-4/18

Monday, April 13
• 12:13 a.m. — A manager from a Polson grocery store called 911 to report a man who was caught stealing the charitable donation jar.
• 8:31 p.m. — A woman reported that her car battery had been stolen on 12th Avenue in Polson.

Tuesday, April 14
• 10:15 a.m. — Regarding the trailer court human waste slinging incident on April 10 (see last issue), an environmental health representative called 911 to report that she had gotten two calls from a resident there who made threats to “shoot the manager” if he came around their trailer again.
The disgruntled resident advised her that the human waste was not theirs, rather someone had “planted it on them.”
• 1:02 p.m. — A report of a grass fire in the rural Ronan area was called into 911 but turned out to be a false alarm as the “flames” were actually an “orange flag” in the field.
• 6:27 p.m. — A woman called 911 and asked why no one had been arrested for “assaulting her daughter with a hammer” last week.
• 7:02 p.m. — A Ronan hotel manager reported that a man wearing jeans and a blue sweatshirt was ducking down by her car and that when she went to check what was going on the male started saying “****” and using other foul language.
• 10:55 p.m. — A woman called 911 and advised that someone is “ringing her doorbell” and she doesn’t want to see who it is, requesting that an officer come by and “check it out.”

Wednesday, April 15
• 8:20 a.m. — A man reported that a propane tank was stolen from the yard at his Third Avenue residence. Upon police follow-up, turned out that Polson Propane had come and picked up their own tank from the man’s yard.
• 10:27 a.m. — A man reported to 911 dispatchers that he had a young suspect who may have been involved in shoplifting incidents at Dairy Queen and Ronan Power Products last week.
• 11:48 p.m. — A female patient called 911 and requested an officer to her room at St. Luke’s Hospital as she “feels she is in danger.” The woman advised that “strange things” have been happening with “trees falling all around the building” and “strange lights shining into her room.”

Thursday, April 16
• 8:01 a.m. — A woman reported that someone had run over her fence on Mission Dam Road and drove off.
• 7:44 p.m. — A man called 911 and reported that an “11 to 12 year old girl” keeps calling and “harassing” him and his sons.

Friday, April 17
• 11:22 a.m. — A man reported to 911 dispatchers that he was trying to get a “haircut appointment” and had called the hair dresser “six or seven times.” He advised that he then received a call from a different woman telling him “not to call her anymore” and that the hair dresser didn’t want to cut his hair and is going to get a “restraining order on him.”
The man wished to speak to an officer “face-to-face” as this is an “important situation” regarding filing a harassment report on the third party that returned his haircut call. The third party told police that the reporting party was a “stalker.”
As Uncle Joey would say on Full House, somebody needs to “cut-it-out.”
• 5:23 p.m. — An anonymous woman reported to 911 that a man and woman were fighting across the street as she saw “arms flying” before the two “disappeared between the trailers.” Both were described as “heavy-set”, probably had been drinking, and the male was reportedly “not wearing a shirt.”
Two women were arrested in the incident for violating probation and fighting.
• 11:04 p.m. — A woman called 911 and reported that “her neighbor” was in Warm Springs (a state mental hospital) this morning, she was admitted and then she “disappeared” and now is her “next door neighbor again.”
The reporting party stated that Warm Springs can “back her up” on this, and they “are not happy.” The woman further advised dispatchers that she’s concerned and does not trust her neighbor because she “runs around with needles and crack.”

Saturday, April 18
• 8:02 a.m. — The same woman that called in late Friday night called back 911 to report that she is “okay”, adding that she was scared last night, but went to sleep and is okay now and just “wanted us to know that.”
• 9:48 a.m. — The aforementioned woman came into the Lake County Courthouse to visit with the Sheriff’s Office about “clone paperwork” regarding “aliens living at Warm Springs.” Officers advised the woman to go home and “get some sleep.”

Archives — Calls from 4/6-4/11

Monday, April 6
• 12:58 a.m. — A man called 911 and advised that he is “getting ready to kill his neighbor” as they have had ongoing issues with each other for the last 13-15 years. He told dispatchers that he doesn’t have any weapons as he doesn’t believe in them, adding that if he kills his neighbor it will be with “his bare hands.”
The man’s cause was that his neighbor’s “cows” always come into his yard and “**** and piss in it” and now he can’t grow anything. He added that he was extremely drunk and would not call back again tonight.
• 1:53 a.m. — A woman wanted a man removed from her residence after she reported he had just come at her with a “knife” and later claimed to be having a “flashback to Vietnam.”
• 4:41 p.m. — A woman reported that she was “shot last year” by her “neighbor” when they were practice shooting and one of the rounds ricocheted off a rock before hitting her. She added that the neighbors are shooting again as she heard a couple “big blasts”, stating that they have “assault rifles and everything.”

Tuesday, April 7
• 12:26 p.m. — A woman called into 911 and reported two children who were “running towards the park” in Ronan.
• 5:57 p.m. — A man advised 911 dispatchers that an intoxicated man who just hit a house with a car is now walking in the middle of the road near the Pablo fire hall.
• 7:18 p.m. — A woman reported that older kids playing around a car in front of the pet store are “putting the smaller children in the trunk.” Officers advised that the kids are just playing around and everyone is okay.

Wednesday, April 8
• 6:29 a.m. — An officer reporting seeing a camper camping in different spots along Hwy 83 over the past two weeks and stated that he believes it’s the same man who hung out in the area so long last year that “people got donations to help him leave the area.”
• 8:51 a.m. — A business owner reported someone tried to steal her “silk flower pot” outside her store but the pot was chained to the wall so in an attempt to remove it the failed thieves “pulled so hard they broke the window frame.”
• 1:45 p.m. — A man wearing a black hoodie was reported for “suspicious activity” while walking down Terrace Lake Road carrying a “vase with a big red rose in it.” Suspicious indeed?
• 3:36 p.m. — A woman reported to 911 dispatchers that her kids came home “freaking out” because there was a male “passed out in the park with his pants part way down.” Mr. Sleepy ended up getting a ride downtown for being drunk in public.
• 6:29 p.m. — A man reported to 911 that he received his “medical marijuana” package but 3/4 out it was missing. He advised dispatchers that he ordered an ounce but only received 1/4 ounce in the package which was tampered with and “taped up on the outside.”
The reporting party suspects the UPS driver, who is not their regular driver, was the pot culprit.

Thursday, April 9
• 3:44 a.m. — A man called “911” and was reportedly “trying to call a friend.” When told he had called “911” the caller seemed very surprised stating he “must have miss-dialed.”
• 5:01 p.m. — A woman reported that there are two females out front kicking “the **** out of her boyfriend’s pickup.” When officers arrived on scene no one was found and the reported truck had “no damage.”
• 11:03 p.m. — A bouncer at the South Shore Lounge reported that an HBD (had been drinking) woman “came in swinging at a male at the bar” and then refused to leave. The woman was arrested for endangerment as she had children with her waiting in the car.

Friday, April 10
• 2:05 a.m. — A woman called 911 requesting to speak with an officer regarding her husband how is being “unruly” and just “poured three cans of soda on her and on the carpet.”
• 10:19 a.m. — A woman reported that she needs an officer ASAP as her son is “drunk and getting violent with the walls in the back bedroom.”
• 12:46 p.m. — A man called 911 to report a woman in his trailer park just “took a bucket of human waste and threw it out beside her camper.” The caller advised dispatchers that the tenant is “unruly” and had been evicted before for “throwing human waste all over” the trailer park’s lavatory.
• 2:52 p.m. — A woman called 911 from the lobby in the county courthouse stating that she has “two tickets” and “wants to do her time.” She added that she hadn’t seen the judge and wouldn’t see him until Monday, but was still going to sit in the lobby “until she did her time.”
When detention officers went out to get her she had already left.
• 3:30 p.m. — The same woman from earlier called back 911 from home still wanting to “do her time for the tickets”, asking dispatchers “why don’t you just put me in jail forever, for a thousand years.”
When dispatchers told her she would have to wait to be see the judge on Monday, she said “fine” and hung up.

Saturday, April 11
• 1:35 a.m. — An anonymous caller reported that a man had just “kicked through a car windshield” outside the South Shore Lounge. Chuck Norris much?
• 3:44 p.m. — A woman reported to 911 an instance of “suspicious activity” stating that she had just “seen something on the hill.” She then advised that she could now see “the horses that ran over the hill and made a huge cloud of dust.”

Archives — Calls from 3/30-4/5

Monday, March 30
• 8:03 a.m. — A local bus driver called 911 to report that a school bus had been broken into and vandalized over the weekend.
• 1:16 p.m. — A man called 911 and requested to speak with an officer in regards to a racial slur that was said about him “last year.”
• 7:26 p.m. — A woman reported to dispatchers that “they” took her piano and replaced it with another that was “not sufficient.” She advised that she wanted officers to know this in case “her body is found laying around.”
She then thanked the dispatcher for being so kind and listening to an “old lady” as she didn’t need to speak with an officer after all.
• 8:18 p.m. — A woman reported that her ex-husband came home drunk and kicked her door in.

Tuesday, March 31
• 10 a.m. — A man was caught digging around in one of the offices at the Kwataqnuk Resort. The vigilante scavenger was removed from the premises and given a six-month no-trespassing order.
• 10:34 a.m. — The very same man was caught attempting to steal eggs from the Lake County courthouse break room. The stealth egg burglar fled the scene before officers could apprehend him.
• 8:59 p.m. — A man was booked for assault after he threw a “full metal can of french onion soup” at a woman’s head. The victim reportedly did not know her assailer and the weapon was found dented in half.
• 9:49 p.m. — A woman called 911 and requested than officer come by as there has been a lot of “foot traffic” by her apartment and she is “unable to sleep.”
• 10:02 p.m. — A man advised dispatchers that some kids are making noise at the St. Ignatius Skate Park and “it is late.”

Wednesday, April 1
• 1:19 a.m. — An anonymous man advised 911 dispatchers that a maroon Camaro is parked outside the Wolf Den and the driver has “a lot of pot” in the vehicle as he is a “drug dealer.”

Thursday, April 2
• 12:20 a.m. — A man reported that he was assaulted by another man “while sleeping.”
• 12:29 a.m. — A Polson taxi driver called 911 and requested an officer as he has an intoxicated male that is refusing to exit his cab. The stubborn tanked passenger was reportedly getting “loud and rowdy” and was refusing to get out as drivers attempted to remove him.
• 5:36 p.m. — A woman reported that there is a “weird guy walking through her yard.” She described him as “wearing baggy pants” and carrying a white plastic garbage bag with “beer cans.”
The man reportedly then wandered into the street, looked up and began “spinning around.”

Friday, April 3
• 11:45 a.m. — A woman reported that two people had stolen a friend’s brown Chevy Blazer — the friend of which was headed to prison — and she had begun to pursue them in her vehicle. The supposed stolen vehicle chase reached upwards of 90 miles per hour on St. Mary’s Lake Road near St. Ignatius with officers tailing the chase.
Officers asked the vehicle owner in Lake County Jail whether the people who had taken the car had permission to do so and it turned out that they indeed “did.” Neither party ended up wanting to file a complaint in the incident.

Saturday, April 4
• 2:13 a.m. — An anonymous female reported fighting up the road stating that there were people “trying to run people over” and thought they might be “starting to pull out guns.”
• 9:34 a.m. — A woman reportedly came into the Sheriff’s Office and just wanted to talk to someone regarding her being “afraid to move.”
• 11:50 p.m. — Mission police officers reported a man that had been drinking at a local hotel who had “crawled through a window” into a hotel room and locked the female staying there out of her room. The female told officers that her husband was “passed out” inside the room as well.

Sunday, April 5
• 4:27 a.m. — A woman called 911 and advised dispatchers that she and her husband are going to keep buying distilled water as the water in Lake County is “bad.” She stated that the problem “began” in Engles trailer court when someone was making “liquid ice” and pouring it into the “drains”. She added that now it is in the Polson water.
The woman continued advising that the cops are “on top of it” and trying to see where it is coming from. She explained that the contaminated water “hurts your spirit.”

Archives — Calls from 3/22-3/29

Sunday, March 22
• 4:15 p.m. — A woman called 911 and advised dispatchers that she had a drunk belligerent man in Dairy Queen wearing a black hoodie who was threatening to “throw a chair.” On the ride to jail officers reportedly had to stop at Pablo Pass to let the intoxicated male out of the patrol car to “puke.”
• 10:21 p.m. — An officer located and stopped to talk to a group of several men who had been reported to be “walking along the road urinating in the street.”
• 11:39 p.m. — A vehicle tower went to tow a vehicle parked outside a downtown Polson bar for a female and reported witnessing “two other females come outside and punch the other female in the face.”

Monday, March 23
• 8:20 a.m. — A man reported to 911 dispatchers that somebody “did broadies” on the turf number five fairway at Polson Golf Course.

Tuesday, March 24
• 9:24 p.m. — 911 personnel dispatched an officer to St. Luke Hospital for a father and son who reportedly physically “fighting in the Emergency Room.”

Thursday, March 26
• 1:52 p.m. — A woman requested an officer to come to her trailer court residence to look at her “door knobs”, as she thought someone is taking “impressions of the key locks.”
The female advised dispatchers that there is black stuff on the door knobs as well as foot prints in the snow on her back porch.
• 4:37 p.m. — A woman called 911 and stated that her boyfriend had been drinking, was belligerent, and about to go “ballistic” on her. Dispatchers reported hearing the boyfriend in the background asking to speak with them on the phone and when dispatch requested to speak with the boyfriend they were hung up on.
The boyfriend subsequently called back minutes later stating he did not know what was going on as he was “just eating” when his girlfriend started “going off” on him, calling him “belligerent” and claiming that he “carried a gun everywhere.”

Friday, March 27
• 3:27 a.m. — A man reported to 911 that there appeared to be an intoxicated male attempting to break into the Verizon Wireless store in downtown Polson. The drunken man was subsequently picked up and booked into jail where he was given the chance to use up some of those anytime minutes while cooling down.
• 7:50 p.m. — A woman reported that her “wedding rings” were stolen from her hands “while she was sleeping.”
• 9:21 p.m. — A man called 911 and reported that there were several girls on top of a Main Street Polson building throwing eggs at traffic on Main. The girls reportedly fled down the alleyway before getting into a white four-door 4WD extended cab truck.

Saturday, March 28
• 12:39 a.m. — A man reported that someone broke into his cabin where he found a “hookah” and several chairs set around “campfire style.” The man advised that he left and came back a little later to find the hookah mysteriously “missing” from the scene.

Sunday, March 29
• 10:54 a.m. — The same couple that called in on Thursday afternoon called back stating that their “checkbook has disappeared.” The woman on the phone advised 911 dispatchers that “her neighbor has the key” because the landlord gave him “the key.”
The boyfriend subsequently got on the phone again and advised dispatchers that they didn’t want an officer to respond as they would “get kicked out of the apartment,” adding that he would go to the bank in the morning and “take care of it.”
Don’t look at me, I’m confused also man.
• 10:08 p.m. — A woman reported seeing a drunk man passed out leaning against a road sign at the Finley Point turnoff on Highway 35. Officers responded and tried to get the man home as he was “too drunk to ride his bike home.”

Archives — Calls from 3/16-3/21

Monday, March 16
• 3:57 p.m. — A woman called 911 to report a female shoplifter who had just stolen a large or x-large gray t-shirt with a “wicked wolf on it.”
• 9:31 p.m. — A woman reported that a Jeep just busted through a fence by Donny Dupuis Smoke Signal and continued driving on down the road.
• 11:16 p.m. — A woman called 911 saying “Hurry 414” and then clarified that she needed an officer at her address. The woman stated that she heard noises in her apartment and that someone is rattling the lock on her door.
Then the lady advised dispatchers that it was “possibly the cat.”

St. Patty’s — Tuesday, March 17
• 7:55 p.m. — A woman reported that another woman who had a wee bit much of the old sacrament came to her house and kicked in the door.
• 10:13 p.m. — A man reported that he “almost got his teeth knocked in” in a scuffle out front of the Wolf Den. Two brawlers were arrested in the incident. Aw, the luck of the Irish — it’s not St. Patrick’s Day if some green beer doesn’t lead to fisticuffs in the alleyway.

Wednesday, March 18
• 7:24 p.m. — A man called 911 and reported that he was walking by a house on Post Creek Road when the dogs started barking at him and a “little bald headed man” came out and started “throwing fake punches and fake kicks” at him.
The man advised dispatchers that this has been going on for “13 years” and he wanted something done as he has the right to walk down the street.
• 11:52 p.m. — A man reported to dispatchers that the trailer next to his on Turtle Lake Hill is “playing that damn rock and roll music and it’s midnight!”

Thursday, March 19
• 12:05 p.m. — Police officers reported recovering a marijuana pipe from behind the Ronan VFW.
• 5:02 p.m. — A woman called 911 and reported that two individuals are “very drunk” and keep “throwing stuff at her window” after she forced them to leave earlier.
• 9:42 p.m. — A woman reported that there is a female wearing a dark coat and carrying plastic bag that is walking down 7th Avenue West towards Main “high stepping” and appears to be intoxicated.

Friday, March 20
• 3:44 p.m. — A woman reported that a “kid on a skateboard” is going down the middle of the street with a “cig hanging out of his mouth.”
• 6:00 p.m. — A man called 911 and requested to speak with an officer as his wallet and some other items are missing. The man advised that he has “heard a man and a woman’s voice” in his house before and thinks it is them “taking things.”
The man added that “they” also put “empty tin cans in his fridge and other places around the yard.” The man later called back and stated that he found his wallet but was still missing his credit card.

Saturday, March 21
• A man reported that there are two young men wearing “hoodies” hanging around a Ronan gas station and asked that an officer come to “remove them.”

Archives — Calls from 3/9-3/14

Monday, March 9
• 9:27 a.m. — A man called 911 to report that his neighbor was using his trashcan.
• 8:18 p.m. — A woman reported that her five-year-old son had just ingested liquid soap and needed the contact for poison control.

Tuesday, March 10
• 3:23 a.m. — A person reported that a car just slid off Mission Dam Road in the North Foothills. Upon retrieving the car it was found to be a stolen vehicle.
• 3:59 p.m. — A woman reported to 911 dispatchers that the sonic boom backfire from an old former cop car’s exhaust blew her window out at her 3rd Avenue residence.
• 6:46 p.m. — Two individuals were arrested for stealing “cold and flu medicine” from a local grocery store.
• 7:19 p.m. — A woman reported that an “extremely intoxicated” man wearing a dark coat and jeans was just “thrown out of a white mini van” in the parking lot of a different local grocery store. She advised that he is now sitting on a bench next to the building.
• 7:32 p.m. — A woman called 911 and requested to speak with a county commissioner regarding a “super secret investigation” she was working on for that public official. The woman advised dispatchers that she can “read minds” and is clairvoyant, and she is doing the investigation as a favor to the commissioner. She said the investigation was regarding “people doing weird things to dogs in Ronan” and an advertisement for “whimeraners” in the paper.
Later on, dispatch received a call from the same woman stating she was “going to speak very slowly and in Latin” as she had some information regarding dogs in her “very special mission given to her by an officer.” Even later on in the same evening, dispatchers received yet another call from the woman who was reportedly now speaking in “gibberish.”

Wednesday, March 11
• 10:35 a.m. — A man called 911 and requested a call from an Polson officer regarding some stuff of his ex-girlfriend’s that he “pawned.” He advised that they’ve broken up now and she is telling him that she’s turning him in for steeling her stuff and pawning it.
• 10:39 p.m. — A person reported that a drunk man was walking in the middle of the road. It was found that he had an arrest warrant out and the sloshed jaywalker was subsequently picked up by the fuzz and taken for a ride downtown in the paddywagon.

Thursday, March 12
• 2:43 a.m. — A woman reported a small green station wagon headed northbound from Ronan on US Hwy 93 that was “dragging a gas hose and nozzle” from the car’s gas tank. Officers found the car in the high school parking lot and the gas nozzle was brought back.
• 7:40 p.m. — A woman reported that someone stole her “large BBQ” today, and advised that she could see “footprints going from the house to the alleyway.”
• 8:40 p.m. — A woman at a Polson hotel called 911 and reported that a picture fell on her head and she wondered “how long she would have to wait at the Emergency Room,” adding that she would “wait at home if there is a long wait.” Dispatchers gave her the number for the hospital.

Friday, March 13
• A man reported that he got a letter from “Lee Yang with a bank in China” who told him he would give the man “$4 million if he sends them a check.”

Saturday, March 14
• A woman reported that there is a man at her bar who was kicked out and is now hanging around in the parking lot trying to “start fights with their bouncer” and anyone leaving the local watering hole. Officers picked up the man and dropped him off at a nearby gas station to remove him from the conflict.

Archives — Calls from 3/2-3/8

Monday, March 2
• 11:41 p.m. — A woman called 911 and requested an officer as another woman wouldn’t give her back her cable box. While on the line the reporting woman said that the thief had just given the box back under threat of calling the police and she would no longer need an officer.

Tuesday, March 3
• 8:44 p.m. — Security at a Polson grocery store reported witnessing a female shoplifter steal a “Maybelene eye makeup stick” which reportedly retails for approximately $5.50.
• 9:08 p.m. — A man advised 911 dispatchers that a clothes washer and dryer were stolen from his apartment by two former tenants who flooded the apartment making off with the large units.

Wednesday, March 4
• 12:09 a.m. — A man reported that a dark sedan and a silver station wagon were racing in and out of the catholic cemetery on Repass Trail. The man advised that a few individuals were out of their vehicles with flashlights looking into what appears to be “open graves.” He added that they weren’t harming anything, but “it just seems odd.”
• 5:22 p.m. — A man called 911 to report that his female neighbor was now “awake and picking up chairs and breaking them.”
• 5:38 p.m. — A woman reported that a BBQ grill was taken from her residence between 2:30 and 3 p.m. today.

Thursday, March 5
• 8:45 a.m. — A drunk man was reported to be on the lake ice in front of Port Polson Inn and could hardly stand up. The reporting party asked that an officer go and check on him.

Saturday, March 7
• 2:06 a.m. — A man reported that there is a drunken “male stripper” in the alleyway of Dick’s Pheasant Lounge “busting out windows.” The reporting party advised that male strippers had performed at the bar earlier and the now violent dancer had too much to drink.
He advised that the man “wants to fight,” but they are going to just hold him down and wait for the cops.
• 6:00 p.m. — A small fire was reported to be burning inside a “flower pot” sitting right outside a local Polson thrift store. Polson Fire personnel put out the fire with “a glass of water” and cleared the scene.

Sunday, March 8
• 3:23 a.m. — A woman reported to 911 dispatchers that she had just “awakened to the sound of crunching snow,” and was concerned thinking it was probably a “deer” but instead saw two males in dark coats walking behind her house on Rung Lane.

Archives — Calls from 2/20-3/1

Friday, Feb. 20
• A man reported to dispatchers that there was a man outside his residence fighting with another man named “Kosmo.” Kosmo Kramer you ask? Perhaps we will never know as the men fled the scene before police arrived.
Sunday, Feb. 22
• A man advised dispatchers that a male is walking down Main Street in Polson punching “every glass window he comes near.” The apparently intoxicated male on a window punching spree could not be located by authorities.
Tuesday, Feb. 24
• An employee at a local liquor store reported that a woman came in and stole one liter of peppermint schnapps and ran out with it. A man subsequently stuck his head in the door and said he would “make good on it.” The employee advised dispatchers that neither of the pair had been back since.
Friday, Feb. 27
• A man was caught stealing toilet paper from the janitor’s closet at the Lake County Courthouse and was advised by an officer not to come back to the courthouse unless he has a good reason to be there otherwise he will “be residing there.”
Saturday, Feb. 28
• A reporting party advised that there is a drunken man staggering in and out of traffic on Highway 93 in front of Pizza Hut and the Sinclair station in Polson. The man was reported to be wearing a red hat and black coat, and was yelling at people and “flipping them off.”
The drunk was picked up on an arrest warrant out of Missoula County.
Sunday, March 1
• A woman reported in the early morning hours that her neighbor just came home drunk and tried to kick down the door.
• A woman called in and advised that during an argument with her “boyfriend” he had threatened to have “his sister come beat her up.”
• A man reported that someone just attempted to “crawl into his bathroom window.” The man reported that the attempted break-in culprit fled the scene, adding that he followed “footprints” in the snow and “possibly heard noises in the shed.”

Archives — Calls from 2/16-2/19

Monday, Feb. 16
• 2:20 p.m. — A woman reported she had received a message from another woman threatening to “bouncer her around town” and “break her legs.”
• 6:05 p.m. — A female bartender at a local bar reported an incident of harassment by a male patron who was kicked out of the bar a year ago for “urinating on her vehicle” and being “unruly.” The man has since come back to the bar and she reported recently finding a note left on her windshield that read “let me know when you need your windshield washed.”
• 6:08 p.m. — A mother called in and stated to 911 dispatchers that her daughter is “harboring two or three felons” at her house.

Tuesday, Feb. 17
• 6:25 p.m. — A woman reported she went to the bank to get money out her account and was told by the bank that she did not have an account. The woman requested to speak with an officer about the incident to “get it tracked down.”

Wednesday, Feb. 18
• 11:40 a.m. — A man who appeared to be in his 40s or 50s was reported to have been caught on surveillance cameras taking money from the “donation jar” at a local pizza restaurant the night before.
• 5:04 p.m. — A female reported an altercation between her and her boyfriend. The woman said she was trying to clear out her car so the boyfriend and daughters could go somewhere, but her boyfriend said he “wanted to go now,” which upset one of the daughters who said, “Don’t go yet you might run over mom’s feet.”
The boyfriend then said, “That’s OK, I have had my feet run over before and it doesn’t hurt that bad.”
The woman said she felt disturbed over the remark to which the boyfriend said, “it’s BS that she should even worry about it.”
• 11:06 p.m. — A man reported to 911 dispatchers that his brother had made threats on his life over a “belt buckle.” The brother making the threat said the buckle held “sentimental value” to him and stated, “I will see you six feet under.” The man added that two of his brothers are “felons” with “multiple firearms” in their possession and he would like to speak to an officer in the morning as he was tired at the time.
He explained for dispatchers not to worry about him as he was “comfortable going to sleep tonight” seeing as the brother making the phone threats lives “at least 12 hours away.”
• 11:38 p.m. — A man reported that someone unknown to him came into his kitchen and “stole his dinner plate.” He advised dispatchers that people are always pulling pranks on him like “leaving their garbage all over and trashing his kitchen.”
The man added that he believes it is “his neighbors up the road” and that officers will have to jump over his gate, which is padlocked, as he is “too scared to go out at night to unlock it.”

Thursday, Feb. 19
• 1:30 a.m. — A man reported that an intoxicated man was standing on his porch yelling.
• 12:37 p.m. — A man reported waking up with a “giant wooden bear” in his yard. The bear was discovered to be a popular monument outside a local grocery store and was returned to the premises.
• 1:43 p.m. — The “bank account” woman that called on Tuesday, called back to advise 911 dispatchers that someone had called her requesting information on her bank account and “wanted to take her car.” She stated that she “still needs her car” and feels that “they” are driving by her house, “slowly,” so they can scare her as they “drive fast until they get to the house.”

Archives — Calls from 2/9-2/15

Monday, Feb. 9
• 7:47 a.m. — A woman reported that someone in a maroon Jeep pulled into her driveway with their headlights on, pulled out and then back in again. She said she doesn’t know who these people are, and added that she watched the Jeep pull into a neighbor’s driveway, back out, and then drive across their lawn.
• 2:23 p.m. — A woman reported that a Rotweiler/Shepherd mix is running around the neighborhood near the 900 block of 10th Avenue leaving “piles” in her yard.
• 9:50 p.m. — A woman was reported to have been “unruly” with an employee at a Ronan grocery store and was permanently “banned” from the premises by management.

Tuesday, Feb. 10
• 11:00 a.m. — A man reported seeing a white Mercury Topaz pull up to a restaurant in Finley Point, break into the Missoulian newspaper machine to steal all the quarters and then drove off. Later on Sunday, Feb. 15 a Missoulian newspaper machine outside a business in Ronan was also broken into and had the bounty of quarters jacked — thus completing the string of newspaper machine heists for the week.
• 11:32 a.m. — A man called in requesting to speak with an officer regarding his “deceased mother’s ex” who was using his name “for power” in Lewis and Clark County. The man stated that while he awaited the police he will be working in the alley near the 500 block of 10th Avenue “chopping ice.”
• 1:04 p.m. — A man reported that his “mobile home” had been stolen from the Pablo area. When asked by dispatch for any specifics as to the make or model of the home, he could not give that information as he said it was all inside the mobile home.
• 4:01 p.m. — A woman called in reporting that her teenage son had been hit in the back of the head with a hockey stick Friday afternoon and wanted to press charges.
• 9:20 p.m. — A man called in stating that his wife was making “false excuses” as to why their daughter should be able to stay home from school, sharing his concerns with 911 dispatchers. Dispatch recommended he speak with a school counselor or school resource officer.
• 10:06 p.m. — A woman called in a noise disturbance on Blacktail Street near Turtle Lake saying that the dogs have barking all night, and their neighbors started a bonfire earlier that almost caught their roof on fire. She stated that she has had enough and wants somebody to “Shut the **** down” as she had to work in the morning.

Wednesday, Feb. 11
• 5:41 a.m. — A “highly” intoxicated male called in and reported that another man had been threatening him and saying he was going to take “all his belongings.”
• 2:31 p.m. — Reporting party stated that paintballers were “on the loose” on 7th and 10th, striking a vehicle twice that was driving through the area.
• 3:35 p.m. — A man on Price Lane said he came home and noticed that his sheep and other livestock were staring at some old trucks on his property. The man got his rifle and went to investigate, coming across an unknown man standing between the two vehicles reported as wearing “new Carharts”. The trespasser ran away from the armed man and has not been seen since.
• 4:03 p.m. — A man reported went into a Ronan store and came out to find his van’s sliding down open and an intoxicated man passed out in the back.
• 5:33 p.m. — A woman reported an incident of trespassing when her ex-boyfriend reportedly broke into her home by removing a window sill, “stole” back his own tools that belonged to him and left the premises.

Friday, Feb. 13
• 1:28 a.m. — An anonymous male called in from a Ronan pay phone sounding “very HBD” (has been drinking) on the Crime Stoppers line to report someone who would traveling from Tacoma, Wash., to Ronan, Pablo, or St. Ignatius with drugs — adding “probably meth”. The man said the proposed drug traffickers would be “pretending they are coming back for a funeral”, stating, “they aint driving, they’re coming back some other way.”
• 4:40 p.m. — A man reported that four kids were hiding in the hay in his barn and that he had “detained” three of them who were now sitting on the tailgate of his truck. The man advised that one kid was still hiding in the hay.

Saturday, Feb. 14
• 4:18 a.m. — Reporting party advised dispatch that a young male got out of a car at the Woodsbay Market, walked around the entire building and ran back to his vehicle.
• 12:30 p.m. — A man called in reporting that a woman on the 500 block of Adams Street was standing in her yard screaming at him that he was “peeking in her windows.”
• 5:36 p.m. — A man reported that he was hiking out to some people that were trespassing near the Bison Corrals on the Bison Range. The man later advised to dispatch that the trespassers were from Germany and has some trouble reading the signs.
• 7:10 p.m. — A man reported that someone had stolen the “tailgate” off of his “orange” truck.

Sunday, Feb. 15
• 7:41 a.m. — A woman reported that an officer had taken the “wife loop holding her gate shut”, stating they did it because “they did not like it.” She added that now she cannot get her newspapers.
• 7:13 p.m. — A woman called in advising dispatch that she wanted “all” of the officers to know that she has “cancer in her stool”. She went on to add that if you are “constipated” start taking “Swan C” and it will “clear you right up!”

Archives — Calls from 2/2-2/8

Monday, Feb. 2
• 12:37 a.m. — Six people outside a couple of hotel rooms at a Polson hotel were reported to be “partying, cursing, and disturbing all the other guests and children.”
• 9:12 a.m. — Man reported that a female had been harassing him for his political views by following him home in her car and then shouting “Obama lover” and “tree-hugger” at him. The same man also reported that there is a “mysterious man in the area” who somehow knows his name and is prone to saying “hello” to him on the street.
• 12:19 p.m. — A man reported that his wife just called him and said that a lady knocked on the door of their home and three two dead chickens at her claiming that their dogs had killed them. The husband stated that both their dogs had been chained up in the back yard.
• 5:16 p.m. — A man reported that his grandaughter keeps calling him so he changed his number and wants to press charges.

Tuesday, Feb. 3
• 6:26 a.m. — A man reported that someone had woken him out of a sound sleep by yelling “Bigot, bigot, bigot!” The man believes the perpetrator drives “A green SUV” and stated that he did not want to talk an officer he just wanted the responsible party apprehended.
• 3:37 p.m. — A lady identified as “wearing a sweater vest and carrying a suitcase” was reported to 911 dispatchers to be walking along Highway 93 near the Exxon Station and may or may have gotten into a truck.
• 3:50 p.m. — A woman reported that a spotted pitbull mixed dog that “looked like a hyena” keeps coming into her yard and eating her cat food.
• 4:19 p.m. — A man on Big Lodge Road reported that another man was hiding out in his neighbor’s cabin and claimed that the man stole his truck and “burned it down.” The reporting party also claimed to have evidence “this time” — that being stolen chickens, foot prints, and wheel barrel tracks seen out back of his property.

Wednesday, Feb. 4
• 2:12 p.m. — A male shoplifter was reported caught stealing doughnuts, cookies, and Little Debbies from a Polson grocery store. Munchies much?

Saturday, Feb. 7
• 3:27 p.m. — A woman reported that she had been requested by the military to watch for “Japanese Clones.” She advised 911 dispatchers that a man who was “gross and disgusting” was slain in prison and his clone lives now in Missoula.
The woman continued that the man is a cannibal, and gave her diseases like hantivirus. Dispatch advised her that hantivirus comes from mice and not people to which the woman reminded dispatch that the man was a cannibal stating “this is how he does it.”
The woman explained that the Missoula man is the head “Japanese” clone, known as the “Big Kahuna.” She described him as “white” but claimed that he is a “Japanese” clone and is “very quick.” The reporting party requested extra patrol at her residence.
• 9:30 p.m. — A female shoplifter was reported caught stealing an odd combination of “baby powder and Lipton iced tea” from a local grocery store.

Sunday, Feb. 8
• 10:20 p.m. — A highly intoxicated man was reported to be passed out drunk sitting on the toilet in the bathroom at a Ronan gas station.

Archives — Calls from 1/22-1/31

Thursday, Jan. 22
• A woman called in and reported that there are strangers at her house that appear to be human, but are not as they keep going in and out of her house through the walls.
The woman said that the beings usually appear walking around at 5:15 a.m. and then leave the premises running. She added that they don’t talk, rather just stand there with their tongues hanging out.
The night the woman called she said they had showed up with two little children, who she reported, had “no coats on”. The woman told 9-1-1 dispatch that although she closed the drapes, they remained open just enough for the being to get his face in.
Dispatch advised the woman to close the drapes all the way.
The woman explained to dispatch that she had a doctor’s appointment Friday and had planned on getting a small barking dog and some pepper spray to fend off the mysterious beings. Until then, she said she is using oven cleaner spray.
Dispatch advised the woman that officers would be advised to do extra patrol of the area.

Monday, Jan. 26
• A man wearing a white hood was reported to dispatchers to be attempting to break in to a car with a “slim jim” in the lower parking lot of the KwaTaqNuk. The vehicle turned out to be the hooded man’s own car.
• A car was reported to be taking up the entire road on Emerald Street. Officers arrived on scene to find the car running and parked sideways in the middle of the street.
The vehicle’s owner said he thought he had left the parking brake on and the car must have rolled backwards into the street.

Tuesday, Jan. 27
• A significant amount of sand stored behind the Woods Bay Market was reported to have been stolen from the Montana Department of Transportation.
• A “strange” man wearing a black coat with white stripes was hanging around outside Valley Business Systems and the reporting party asked that officers stop to talk to him.

Wednesday, Jan. 28
• A woman called during the late night hours reporting that a man had been sending her harassing text messages all night with “code text.”
• A man called in a driving complaint claiming another vehicle had blue lights flashing inside and that he had been hit in the eyes with a red laser. The complaint led to the other car being pulled over and two males being arrested for drug-related offenses.

Thursday, Jan. 29
• A man and woman reportedly picked up a male hitchhiker on U.S. Highway 93 and when requested that he get out of the car near Post Creek Hill, he became verbally abusive and told the couple that they were going to take him where he wanted to go.
The driver removed him from the car and asked 9-1-1 dispatchers to have the man picked up and spoken to.
• A puppy was reported missing on Ninth Avenue. The reporting party claimed they suspected the dog was stolen by the paperboy.

Saturday, Jan. 31
• Four men drinking at the South Shore Bar allegedly went upstairs to the China Gates Restaurant around 5 p.m. and stole a large tub of chicken and a large tub of shrimp — approximately $600 in food they were not permitted to take. The drunken chinese food burglars were caught on tape by surveillance video cameras and two were identified.
The next day, two of the men returned to the South Shore for a drink and were arrested on-site by three Polson Police officers.