911 calls from 6/10-6/14

Wednesday, June 10
• 10:38 a.m. — A man reported to 911 that he found what he thinks is a “smoke bomb” in his mailbox as his mail is all “brown and stinky.”
• 10:58 a.m. — A man called 911 and requested to speak with an officer about the “window on his truck blowing out” as he was driving down the highway near the Lake/Missoula county border in the Swan. The man advised that it was either “a rock or somebody shot at him.”
• 9:46 p.m. — A woman reported to 911 that her neighbor is out target practicing and she “wants to sleep.”
• 9:53 p.m. — A woman called 911 and reported that four kids are messing with the construction equipment near the grade school in Ronan, “honking the horn on one of the tractors.”

Thursday, June 11
• 7:46 a.m. — A woman reported to 911 that she witnessed an intoxicated man who appeared to be hitch-hiking and walking down Timberlane Road next to Don Aadsen Ford “grab some mail out of a mailbox.” The man then reportedly noticed he had been seen taking the mail and ran back to put the mail back in the box.
• 11:19 p.m. — A woman called 911 to report “two teenagers riding on top of a car” with six occupants packed inside as the vehicle drove back and forth between Castle Rock and the boat ramp near the KwaTaqNuk Resort.

Friday, June 12
• 1:05 a.m. — A bartender at the Branding Iron reported a suspicious male outside walking back and forth and “peering in the windows.”
• 8:16 a.m. — A man reported to 911 a pickup parked on J2000 road with a body wrapped up in a blanket that “isn’t moving.” Police responded to the scene and the man promptly arose from his slumber, alive and a little groggy.
• 5:43 p.m. — A woman reported to 911 there is a lot of traffic going in and out of a 4th Avenue residence as she believes it to be a “drug house.” She went on to state that this morning the house wreaked of a combination of “skunk, dirty socks, and rotten eggs” — leading the woman to believe that meth is being made at the smelly home in question.

Saturday, June 13
• 12:47 a.m. — A heavily intoxicated man refusing to leave the Wolfden Bar “removed his pants” in protest to the bartender’s request to vacate the premises. The man was described as 6 foot tall, 230 pounds, blue shirt, “no pants.” The barroom rebel’s valiant demonstration ultimately was a loss — as he fought the law and the law won. The man was arrested for disorderly conduct and charged with resisting arrest.
• 2:51 a.m. — A woman reported a noise disturbance to 911, saying that two “drunk and stoned” individuals have been playing Guitar Hero on Playstation very loudly “for hours” at the apartment next door.
• 5:14 a.m. — A woman called 911 wanting to report her cousin going AWOL from the Army. The catch? She would not give up her cousin’s identity unless the sheriff’s office “cut her a check”, as she bargained with dispatchers to turn him in for “a hundred bucks.”
However enticing the offer was, dispatchers declined to pay up. One must beg the question, is working a ransom deal with the cops really the best idea here? What is this, the movie “Speed”?
• 9:03 a.m. — A woman reported that a homeless man sleeping behind the car wash just got up and is walking towards Tootsies using a “golf club as a cane.”

Sunday, June 14
• 10:54 a.m. — A man reported to 911 that he and his wife saw what appeared to be a yellow airplane flying over the lake in circles, that got lower, and lower, and then “landed in the lake.” The man said his wife thought the plane went “under water” between Big Arm and Elmo. Officers spoke with people on the marine channel and confirmed that the plane was their “floatplane” and that everything was okay.
• 8:45 p.m. — An employee at Doug Allard’s store reported that two girls came in and advised that man staying at the hotel is exposing himself in front of children. Upon police follow-up, the tenants turned out to be two German tourists who apparently did not get the memo on our culture’s attitudes towards nudity, and kindly agreed to put their shorts back on.
At least our nude foreign friends hadn’t yet made their way down to the lake before experiencing this “cold” truth.