911 calls from 10/31 to 11/9

Saturday, Oct. 31
- 12:52 a.m. – A woman reported to 911 an act of disorderly conduct as an “intoxicated male” tried to gain entrance to St. Luke’s Hospital to visit his son who was a current patient. I don’t think visiting hours have ever included the midnight hour, but you can’t fault the guy for the effort.
- 5:49 a.m. – A female caller advised dispatch that the same aforementioned male was spotted “smashed up” against the corner of the house “under the garbage” by their backdoor. The homeowner kindly complimented the drunk on his impressive Oscar the Grouch costume before requesting that he be on his way.
- 5:54 p.m. – A woman reported to 911 that she had just been beaten up by another female whom she also witnessed “beat an elderly man with a tire iron.” Wow ma’am, for everybody’s sake please layoff the horror movies.
- 8:08 p.m. – A Polson woman advised 911 dispatchers that her 8-year-old son had just told her that a black car pulled up by trick-r-treaters on 4th Avenue, and some kids jumped out of the car and stole candy from other children. A drive-by trick-r-treating jumping – now that’s a classy move. Whatever happened to just smashing a couple jackolanterns.
-10:50 p.m. – A Ronan mother called 911 to report that a “Ronan policeman is harassing her son.” The mom stated that the officer keeps tailing them and as her son is not a “trouble kid” she demanded they “pull off of him.” If you were wondering, the answer is yes – a mother’s word is above the law.

Sunday, Nov. 1
- 12:24 a.m. – A woman driving in the Arlee area called 911 to report that she believes someone is “following her.” She then added, “nevermind, it’s a cop,” and hung up.
- 1:56 a.m. – A man reported to 911 that his Adams Street home was currently being “egged.”
- 7:57 a.m. – A woman advised dispatchers that her “silver coin purse” was stolen from the South Shore Bar on Halloween.
- 9:04 a.m. – A clerk at Harvest Foods called 911 to report a man in their store who appears to be “on something.” They said the man “picks up an item, looks at it, and then puts it into his cart before removing it and placing it back on the shelves.” Now I say if a man not being able to make up his own mind is a crime – then somebody, for the love of Pete, please lock up Brett Favre and throw away the key.
- 10:26 a.m. – A man advised 911 dispatchers that his neighbor “egged his house and car.”

Saturday, Nov. 7
- 1:03 a.m. – A bartender at the South Shore reported to 911 a woman wearing a black coat and pink pants who is attempting to “breakout the main window in the bar.” The bartender updated dispatchers that the woman was now “punching her husband in the face” in front of the bar.
- 1:26 a.m. – A woman was reported to 911 sitting in a blue Chevy Malibu in the church parking lot below the high school “drinking a Mike’s Hard Lemonade.”
- 4:23 a.m. – A woman in the St. Ignatius area advised 911 dispatchers that for the past five minutes a blue-green Toyota Tercel following her has been trying to “pin her in” while she delivers the morning newspaper.

Sunday, Nov. 8
- 12:53 p.m. – A caller reported finding a bunch of syringes in an abandoned Polson apartment on the 400 block of 10th Avenue West.
- 2:27 p.m. – A man called 911 and reported a woman passed out in a Dodge Neon with her legs hanging out an open door and “a lot of clothes and items all around the car.” Turned out the woman was just cleaning her car which must double as a closet and/or home.
- 2:32 p.m. – A woman reported to 911 a “crazy person screaming at the tops of his lungs” out by the highway and Les Schwab. An officer checked in with the man who wasn’t under the influence but was apparently “10-96”: police code for having mental problems.
- 6:48 p.m. – Marijuana was reportedly found in the Polson Town Pump parking lot.

Monday, Nov. 9
- 12:51 a.m. – A woman requested an officer to file assault charges as she had just had her “ass kicked” by another woman.

911 calls from 8/27-9/8

Thursday, Aug. 27
- 9:16 p.m. – A trailer resident woke up to an apparent explosion shaking their home. Police investigators found the residence’s mailbox blown to bits and a partial box of “sparkler’s – believed to be used in making a sparkler bomb –“ were taken into evidence. Later that day Fox News linked the terrorist attack to Al-Qaeda and, subsequently, President Obama’s healthcare plan.
- 9:47 p.m. – A woman reported to 911 that she just saw a man walking up Highway 93 carrying what appeared to be a “to-go cup from a bar.” Hmmm…didn’t know they had those. “Hey Jimbo you’ve had enough, it’s time to go…but before you do, make sure to take your booze with you on the go.” Brilliant.

Friday, Aug. 28
- 1:33 a.m. – An off-duty Ronan police officer reported that there was a fight ongoing in front of the Second Chance bar in Ronan. The officer did not confirm whether or not they were involved in the bar brawl.
- 2:43 a.m. – A blue SUV was reported to 911 parked sideways in the middle of Skyline Road. After arrival of police, a male come walking up to the vehicle with a gas can but eventually ended up taking a ride to the big house for possession of dangerous drugs.
- 3:16 p.m. – A man wearing a “gray Sons of Silence t-shirt” was reported to 911 standing out front of the Wolf Den dropping “f-bombs” and insulting everyone around him on Main Street in Polson. Mind you this was about the time kids get out of school on a Friday afternoon that the classy individual was putting on this display. Hey buddy, way not to reinforce biker stereotypes—job well done sir.
- 5:35 p.m. – A woman called into 911 and reported a man who was “driving while high on drugs”, claiming that the man had also verbally assaulted her earlier in the day calling her a “prostitute.” The female added that there were also kids nearby vandalizing vehicles. An officer followed up saying the situation was a 1096 – code for “mentally unstable” female.
- 11:45 p.m. – A man advised 911 dispatchers that his house had just been “egged” by 2-3 juveniles.

Saturday, Aug. 29
- 1:26 a.m. – Four individuals were reported causing trouble at the South Shore Lounge. As they left the watering hole before police arrival, one of the sloshed hooligans threw a beer bottle at the fine establishment.
- 10:18 p.m. – A woman reported to 911 that a fight just broke out between two men at the “concession stands” at Mission Valley Speedway. The argument must’ve gone something like this: “My twin dueli is far superior for mud-boggin’ and you know it Boseefus…Oh yeah Jimbo, well only a chump would eat their pink cotton candy like that!”

Sunday, Aug. 30
- 9:35 p.m. – A man reported to 911 hearing a woman scream for help near Mission Creek. Police investigators found the shrill sounds to actually not be human, rather that of a mountain lion sighted on the tree line near St. Ignatius.

Monday, Aug. 31
- 8:24 a.m. – A woman reported to 911 dispatchers that she was “making her morning coffee” when she saw her neighbor’s pitbull come over and “pee” on her fence. She added that the dog’s owner then threatened her when she told them she was going to call the “police and the humane society.” Typically when you say “Hey, your dog just pee-ed on my fence, I’m gonna try and have it put down”…people tend to get a little ticked off by that. Dogs pee. You pee. Everybody pees. Live and let pee. Give pee a chance … okay I’m done now.

Tuesday, Sept. 1
- 1:45 a.m. -- A male and female were reported to 911 having a “loud disagreement of sorts” in front of Crazy Mike’s Video. Next time this happens during business hours, police gave authority to local video clerk/rock star Bryce to go outside and judo-chop the unruly couple to save the boys-in-blue a trip.
- 2:43 p.m. – A man at the Bayview Inn requested an officer to come down and look at “a pile of vomit” that may have had blood in it. All officers on duty immediately sprung into action, proclaiming “Hark, we must witness this immaculate puke you speak of.”
- 7:16 p.m. – A Sanders County woman called 911 and advised dispatchers that her nephew just “shot himself in the hand while cleaning his gun.” Buddy, unload the thing for a slight nanosecond to clean it – you won’t need to overthrow the government during that moment, I guarantee it.

Wednesday, Sept. 2
- 1:29 p.m. – A man was reported to 911 sitting in a white Ford F-150 in the parking lot of Sacajawea Park “taking pictures of women sunbathing” at the park. Upon police follow-up the man was found to only have one camera – which was broken. No further steps were taken in this instance. But I say, if he was actually seen being crazy enough to take shots of girls with his busted camera, doesn’t that make him more of a loony threat?
- 3:56 p.m. – A woman reported to 911 that she just found more “used needles” behind Working Innovations in Polson.
- 9:59 p.m. – Ronan police officers reportedly were pursuing a “highly intoxicated man” on foot running through city park. After a lengthy, and winded, chase the boys booked him and took the unruly escapist for a ride in the paddywagon.

Thursday, Sept. 3
- 4:58 a.m. – Here’s your Swan ridiculous address of the week. A large tree reportedly blew over at the crux of “Fatty Creek and Goat Creek.”

Tuesday, Sept. 8
- 3:19 p.m. – A female called 911 to report that sometimes a woman comes to visit her mother when she is not home and when she leaves the “mother’s prescription narcotics are missing.”

911 calls from 8/9-8/15

Sunday, August 9
- 4:43 a.m. – A vehicle was reported parked at an intersection in the Swan with a bike leaned up against it … wait for it, wait for it … the street names? “Old Squeezer Loop and Goat Creek.” Wow, you gotta love the crazy Swan.

- 1 p.m. – A contracted employee was reported to have used the restroom in an RV at the “Family Fun Center” and later when confronted about the malfesions pushed over another employee’s motorcycle in anger. A classic 3rd grade move, someone ticks you off – just push over their bike and floor it outta there.

- 1:47 p.m. – A man called 911 and reported that two kids were inside an abandoned building near Bishop Insurance and were “tearing the insides of the building down.” The caller added that this building regularly has its fair share of “kids going inside and smoking and carrying on.”

1:52 p.m. – An anonymous reported to 911 that she just witnessed a mother “smoking marijuana in front of young kids and then offering it to them.”

Monday, August 10
- 2:22 a.m. – A woman reported to 911 that two women have been sitting at a picnic table near the Longhouse in Mission for about an hour, “doing nothing.” Laziness is not a crime, ma’am.

3:07 a.m. – A female passenger in a vehicle called 911 and said that the driver, another woman, had been drinking and was currently driving them down from Flathead County to the Polson area to confront an individual who was “threatening to kill them.” Brilliant, on all levels really. I think we skipped a few steps on the conflict-resolution pyramid for this one because no way that one’s ending up win-win.

- 8:11 a.m. – A woman reported to 911 dispatchers hearing “laughing, cussing, and dogs barking” coming from the area of the skate park. After much deliberation from a unique task squad, 8 a.m. was deemed to be way too early for skaters to be at the park and officers responded promptly to witness this event.

- 12:27 p.m. – A Ronan man reported receiving a call from a “Sheriff Woody of the Ronan Police Department”, adding he thought the call was a hoax. Yes sir, there are no sheriffs of police departments – that would be the sheriff’s department. Plus, the only “Sheriff Woody” I know of is the star of “Toy Story.” Could it have been Tom Hanks?

- 2:06 p.m. – A woman called 911 to report that her husband’s name and business phone number had been written on the walls in two women’s bathrooms at different locations in the valley. Her husband subsequently received a call from a couple girls. When the wife reportedly return called the number, the girls apologized for calling her husband – adding that “they thought he was younger.” How did sleepin’ on the couch feel last week buddy?

Tuesday, August 11
- 12:44 a.m. - A bartender at the Silver Dollar in Charlo reported to 911 that a man just punched a nearby picnic table and a bar window after having a fight with his brother-in-law. Luckily, Patrick Swayze showed up and tossed his butt out faster than you can say “Road House.”

- 5:36 p.m. – A drunk man called 911 wanting to talk to the Polson Police Department about having “his a** kicked” at the VFW Bar in Polson. The man was reportedly too intoxicated to finish filling out the report. Prime assault suspects in this case – Jack Daniels and the City of Polson’s sidewalk.

Wednesday, August 12
- 3:41 p.m. – A woman reported to 911 that she had been receiving harassing phone calls from her sister in Billings “who has mental problems.” And I’m sure calling the boys in blue on her will be a therapeutic experience. Well done.

- 5:31 p.m. – A gate was reported stolen in the Swan on “Soup Creek.” The Swan area has so many great street names to go around I decided to give you a bonus one; just try and top this one. “Morning Wood.” Classic Swan.

- 8:19 p.m. – A man reported to 911 that 14-15 year-old boy is selling magazines subscriptions door-to-door to meet the new neighbors. Solicitation is never a great ice breaker. “Hey, I just met you … can I put you down for 40 issues of ‘Guns and Ammo’ perhaps?”

Thursday, August 13
- 1:37 a.m. – A man called 911 and reported that the kids next door have been “partying all the time” adding that “it’s time for the little bastard to go to bed.”

- 2:43 p.m. – A man reported to 911 that someone came into his house “while he was sleeping and stole his belt.” Seven minutes later the man called 911 back to report that he had found his belt. It took roughly seven minutes before he came across a bathroom mirror and … ah haw!

Friday, August 14
- 2:19 p.m. – A woman reported a man “laying in the grass” at the 500 block of 3rd Street, adding that she thought he “might be dead.” The caller dialed back and reported the subject to be in fact alive as her daughter had seen him sneeze.

- 2:21 p.m. – A man reported that a 7-8 year-old kid just threw a pressurized air can at his moving vehicle and hit him on 6th Street. Nice shootin’ Tex!

- 5:15 p.m. – A woman called her neighbor into 911 for shooting his rifle towards her house. The neighbor said he was shooting off “fireworks” because he has a “deer problem.” He says stink bombs, but the pile of deer carcuses in his back yard call him a stinkin’ liar.

- 11:05 p.m. – A woman was reported to 911 apparently trying to “run over a man with her vehicle” outside the Silver Dollar Bar as the man fled on foot shouting “leave me alone.”

Saturday, August 15
- 1:35 a.m. – A woman reported to 911 that her neighbor was shooting off fireworks within the city limits which is prohibited. On a side note the no-doubt tourist or seasonal resident from California was notified that in Montucky it’s the 4th of July EVERYDAY! Yeehaw!

UPDATE! -- Blotter returns 8/21!

First off, my apologies for not posting an earlier note on this site to Police Blotter devotees.

The Blotter has been on a 1.5-month hiatus as I've been transitioning from my former position as a full-time staff reporter with the Lake County Leader to my new career adventure, but FEAR NOT -- with the assistance of the Lake County 911 Center and the Leader I will still be contributing weekly (or bi-weekly, we'll see) Blotter entries as a freelance guest columnist to the paper.

That means those Blotter entries will also be posted here on this blog site (www.lakecountypoliceblotter.blogspot.com) -- in fact, you can get the first glimpse of the newest entry right here on the afternoon of Aug. 21 as that Blotter will go up on the blog before it goes to print in the Aug. 27 issue of the Leader.

Thanks for your patience and thanks to all of you for reading.

Ty Hampton
Guest Columnist
For the Leader

911 calls from 7/6-7/9

Monday, July 6
• 2:02 a.m. — A man called 911 and advised dispatchers that he is having difficulties with “withdrawals” and needed someone to come and “give him something.” When asked if he need an ambulance the man stated “No, I just need someone to come out and give me something for my withdrawals.” Dispatch gave the man the number for St. Luke’s Hospital.
Officers made contact with the male a little later and advised dispatch that he was “doing better.”
• 3:45 a.m. — A man called 911 and reported that there has been a “semi-truck idling for the past two hours” outside his residence. Optimus Prime, is that you? (That pithy joke goes out to Robert Deane — you Transformers loving fool!)
• 8:03 a.m. — A man reported to 911 that some renters moving out of his property took a “laser stove” and two space heaters with them to “Tennessee.”
• 11:06 a.m. — A man requested to speak with a deputy about pressing charges “against his uncle” who keeps “texting him” even though he’s been told to stop.

Tuesday, July 7
• 7:18 a.m. — A woman called 911 and reported a disturbance at the Cherry Hill apartments, advising that two friends are “fighting around” — adding that one is drunk and the other one isn’t.
• 10:52 a.m. — A woman called 911 and requested to speak to a deputy to report a vehicle accident that occurred “a year ago.” Way to be on that one lady, I’m sure they’ll catch ‘em.
• 1:44 p.m. — A Charlo man reported to 911 that his “ball point pens are missing.” Devious pen-stealing reporters are suspect in this case. Valley Journal, of course.
• 7:49 p.m. — A man requested an officer to the Cove in Polson as he just caught four young males “stealing money out of the tip jar” at the deli.

Wednesday, July 8
• 7:56 p.m. — A man reported to 911 that he has a hostile person inside “Cheers” who is refusing to leave? Lay off the sauce Norm, or Sam and Woody are gonna show you the door.
• 9 p.m. — A woman called 911 and reported that she has received some “harassing” phone calls entailing “farting noises and random cussing” left on her answering machine while she was sleeping last night, adding that she just got another one about an hour ago.

Thursday, July 9
• 7:35 a.m. — Police officers responded to a report of two cars driving on Highway 93 near Arlee “shooting fireworks out the windows at each other.” Now that my friend is what you call a redneck drive-by.
• 7:59 a.m. — A woman called 911 and advised that she is in “her 80’s” and received a bill from a company called Environmental Produce in Fairfield, N.J. for $109.90 for an “activator.” The woman stated that she did not even know what an “activator” is.

911 calls from 6/29-7/5

Monday, June 29
• 10:40 a.m. — A woman called 911 to advise that she brought a firecracker into the sheriff’s office and would like to speak to an officer in reference to the firecracker being “set off on her porch last night.”
Wednesday, July 1
• 8:31 p.m. — A Charlo woman reported to 911 that a lot of kids blowing off fireworks nearby are “scaring her pregnant kitty off.”
Thursday, July 2
• 7:42 a.m. — A woman called 911 and advised dispatchers that she is “fine” and “keeping the faith.”
Friday, July 3
• 4:05 a.m. — A woman reported to 911 that there is a woman at her residence that “they” would like removed as she came over and was “taking her clothes off in front of her husband.” Officers were unable to confirm whether the husband was as upset by the incident.
Saturday, July 4
• 9:22 a.m. — A woman reported to 911 that her neighbor is walking around his property “shooting gophers” with a BB gun and she was concerned that one of her kids playing in the yard might get ricocheted.
• 3:44 p.m. — A manager at Wal-Mart called 911 to report some individuals in a maroon Dodge pickup stealing one of the store’s outdoor picnic tables and loading it into the truck. Officers detained the men and returned the table unharmed.
• 5:48 p.m. — A man reported to 911 that there are “nude sunbathers” on the beach at Bear Dance State Park along Highway 35.
• 8:46 p.m. — A man called 911 “very hysterically” stating to dispatchers that somebody came and “destroyed all his trees.” The man suspected foulplay, as he advised that “goats were in with the trees.”
Sunday, July 5
• 4:51 a.m. — A man advised 911 dispatchers that his neighbor playing loud music all day and night is “ruining his life,” adding that if law enforcement didn’t do anything about it he would “take this issue to Helena.” I hear that issue is supposed to be a bipartisan talking point for the 2011 Montana legislative session.
• 9:56 p.m. — A man called 911 to report that there is a “big cat, black in color”, in a vacant lot across from the 1100 block of 8th Street in Polson. The reporting party didn’t believe the animal to be a mountain, “rather another big cat the size of a small husky.” At 10:16 p.m. Polson officers arrived on scene and got a visual on the animal — confirming it to be a mountain lion with a “four foot tail”, bedded down under the tree. While officers awaited the arrival of a rifle to shoot intruding animal, minutes later the cat slipped back behind the house and escaped.

911 calls from 6/21-6/28

Sunday, June 21
• 12:58 a.m. — A man called 911 and reported “loud music” coming from the area across from the vet clinic and wanted it “shut down.” The music turned out to be coming from Relay for Life.
• 1:19 a.m. — Another man reported the same “loud music” to 911 and was informed it was coming from the relay. How dare those cancer survivors and cancer cure advocates stay up all night for a cause?
• 2:17 a.m. — A Polson officer reported that there are some individuals out on horses in front of the Wolf Den. Turns out the horseriders were told it was not illegal to ride through town.
• 2:56 a.m. — An anonymous male advised 911 dispatchers that there is a man “showing marijuana out of a tackle box” at the Swan Tavern.
• 2:01 p.m. — An employee at 93 Sales reported to 911 that someone stole “four tires and the wheels off a pickup in his lot” in the middle of the night. The prime suspects: Local NASCAR pit crew members. Admit it, those guys are fast.
• 4:36 p.m. — A man reported finding another man passed out in his neighbor’s yard. The hung over trespasser was picked up and booked on an outstanding warrant.
• 10:18 p.m. — A man riding a bicycle in the Wal-Mart area reported seeing a bunch of people hanging around Wheat Montana, and when he came back there was “a large pile of rocks in the drive through area.”

Monday, June 22
• 10:11 a.m. — A man advised 911 dispatchers that there are three males drinking beer on the corner of Highway 93 and Main Street and one is “puking everywhere.” Little early for a Monday aint it?

Tuesday, June 23
• 2:20 p.m. — A woman reported to 911 she just witnessed a “skateboarder” throw a bike into the lake. Police made the skater retrieve the bicycle from the water.
• 6:05 p.m. — A man called 911 and reported that there is a “drunk male laying in the ditch with his pants down.” The man was advised by officers to stay home and stay off the street.
• 6:37 p.m. — A woman reported to 911 that there were some kids at the city docks “fighting and throwing animals in the water.” Evidently a boyfriend and girlfriend got into an argument and he threw her dog in the lake.

Wednesday, June 24
• 9:03 a.m. — A man advised 911 dispatchers that there is a man in a small white truck that is watching his neighbor’s house with a “telescope.”
• 3:53 p.m. — A woman called 911 and reported the smell of a “dead body” coming a blue Volkswagen Jetta in the KwaTaqNuk dock area. A Polson officer opened the car’s trunk nearly half an hour later to find nothing but “clothes, papers, and trash.”
How exactly does one walk by a car, sniff, and go “Oh yeah, that’s a dead body”? Are you a CSI forensic sniffer? Some people are just dirty people, doesn’t mean they’re hauling around bodies in their trunks.

Thursday, June 25
• 8:19 a.m. — A man called 911 and advised that a semi truck hauling a huge backhoe has three flat tires and pieces of tires are “just flying everywhere.” The called added that the driver must know his tires are flat and “it’s just sick he’s letting the tire debris go everywhere.”
• 7:23 p.m. — An elderly woman called 911 three times to complain about her “electric bill.” She was told all three times to talk to the electric company.

Friday, June 26
• 3:49 a.m. — A Ronan office advised that an extremely intoxicated male just “urinated in the Town Pump parking lot.”

Saturday, June 27
• 12:21 p.m. — A woman reported to 911 that she was going out to her car and noticed a t-shirt thrown on the dumpster that was “soaked in blood and half burned.”

Sunday, June 28
• 6:11 p.m. — The same elderly woman from earlier called back to 911 requesting to know “how much it will cost to send a letter to Kalispell.”